Tokyo Drift
(Stars - Wasted Daylight)



(In the way your hand hits the wave
In between the dreamer and the breath
Long beside the bitter of the skin
Today won't know when to begin)

About 10 yrs ago, I was suppose to move to Japan to teach English. At the time, everything in my life was very uncertain. I had just graduated from university and I wasn't sure as to what my next steps in life were. My parents had hoped I would go to medical school but I couldn't live up to their expectations. I was also in a relationship with a girl from Texas that I didn't know was going anywhere. It was a struggle daily to figure out how we would bridge that distance between us. It seemed like the wrong time for me to just get up and go wander the world, make the distance between us larger. I convinced myself that I needed to sort out my life, understand where it was headed before I could go on an adventure. It was my responsibility. It was also an excuse for me to avoid my fear of uncertainty.

So I turned down the offer and stayed in Toronto. I found work at an electronics manufacturing company. It wasn't related to my degree but it would help me get started in paying off my student loans. Ironically, it paid half as much as I would've got paid in Japan. The long distance relationship didn't improve. I didn't have any experience that an employer would want to go through the trouble of arranging a visa for me to work there. So I spent a year trying to sort things out but got absolutely nowhere.

The following year I decided to throw caution to the wind and re-apply for that job. I got an interview with the same company. In the interview, they asked me why I turned down the job the previous year. I told them I wasn't ready at the time to make that leap of faith. I waited anxiously for them to call me back. They called me back a week later to let me know that I did not get the job. They felt like I couldn't commit to it. And there you had it -- an opportunity that stared me in the face and I let it slip by.

As the years went by, my friends and family all had the opportunity to go to Japan. Each and every time, they'd come back with stories of how wonderful it is there. The adventures they had. The great culture they soaked in. Each time it was just more salt in the wound for me.

So here I am sitting in my hotel room in Seoul. Trying to collect my thoughts about the weekend I just had in Tokyo. I took a day off from work on this 2 week business trip and decided to fly to Japan to finally see what I had missed out on all these years. After watching inception on the plane ride to Seoul last week, I had hoped that Tokyo wouldn't be as overrated and overhyped as that movie was for me. You have to remember that Tokyo had been hyped up in my mind for the past 10 years. If it didn't live up to my expectations, I would've been devastated.

And there were many hurdles in getting to Tokyo once again. This time I couldn't find a cheap direct flight there from Seoul. The flights using my air miles were only first class and only left early on Friday morning. I had hoped to not miss too much work and fly out Friday evening. I finally told myself, "Who knows when you'll have this opportunity again. Missing one day of work will not make or break the project." I booked that flight. I had a wonderful time. Tokyo was more than I had ever thought it would be. Extremely clean, wonderfully built and so immersed in history and culture. Not to mention the great food and great company I had with a few friends who were there as well.

Now I'm back to reality getting prepared for work tomorrow. I've got one more week in Seoul and then it's back to Toronto for the next little while. It doesn't seem like I've missed a step even though I took time off for myself. And that's what I need to keep telling myself. That taking time off doesn't mean I'm going to derail my career or my life. I just need to step back sometimes and regain my balance before getting back on this high speed train that is my life.

That's what I will tell my grandchildren one day. Don't worry about the uncertainty. Life will not leave you behind. Don't regret missing out on your Tokyo.

Hello From Narita
(Eminem - Love The Way You Lie)



Did a crazy wicked rendition of this song at karaoke last week. Channeling the anger and passion of Marshall Mathers. It was nice to get some anger out. I guess maybe I'm angry at overworking myself and just tiring myself out when I should be enjoying life. It's been 5/6 weeks on the road now. I'm back to Toronto for 2 weeks and then I head out for another 2 weeks to Korea. I missed basically half of my summer. I know I have no one to blame but myself. Sometimes I don't know how to say no to people and sometimes I just like to be a workaholic. That's why this song is so perfect. I know sometimes I torture myself.

On a lighter note, here's a funny story. I'm sitting in Narita airport right now on a 9 hr layover from Kuala Lumpur. Just woke up from a nice 3 hour nap in a private sleeping area where they have lounge chairs with foot stools so you can put your legs up. The nap felt pretty damn good but after I woke up I discovered that the chair I was sitting in actually pulled completely out into a bed position. Of course I'm wide awake now. FML.

Oh...I bought a ninja outfit in one of the souvenir shops here. Will go great with my sword and throwing stars at home. Parents never allowed me to have a ninja costume when I was younger. Never too late to be a kid again. I should wear it the next time I go visit my parents just to spite them. Yeah that's right, your 34 year old son bought his own ninja suit...how do you like them apples?

Does anyone take a lot of enjoyment out of being able to bypass lines at the airport with their Elite airline status? I mean I have an unhealthy enjoyment out of essentially budding in line and then looking back at the 30-40 person deep line and chuckling under my breath. Sorry losers, I've been in transit for 31 hrs so you can suck it! Wait, I've been in transit for 31 hrs, I'm probably the loser here. At least I have status bitches!

Wow...this was an unnecessarily angry post. I'm sure I will be happier when I arrive back in TO.

I think someone once said, "You only have one life, but if you do it right, one is enough." I'm not doing it right, right now. I need better work/life balance. It's a continuing work in progress for me.